jammed coffee, Genesis, the Brothers K

inspired by 

Genesis 41:51, 52

“Joseph named his older son Manasseh, for he said, ‘God has made me forget all my troubles and everyone in my father’s family.’” 

“Joseph named his second son Ephraim, for he said, ‘God has made me fruitful in this land of my grief.’” 

and 

The Brothers Karamazov

The coffee does not flow.

15 grams output in 51 seconds

so bitterly sour,

spit out with vehemence. 

Dial back to zero

the opposite direction,

obstinately. 

Back to zero

the opposite direction,

perplexedly.

Opposite direction

Opposite direction

Left versus right,

so simple a task,

why so stuck?

Intent and high-strung but not seeing.

At last

dial to the right,

The sourness improves. 

Yet

still, what is it? 

.25 by .25, 

exact from the zero point.

Then slight more, slight less tamp.

A 5 out of 10 cup,

8 out of 10!

6 out of 10,

7 out of 10…

7 out of 10…

7 out of 10 after

7 out of 10,

Still here

In my non-forgetting. 

In my non-forgetting—

Books quiet on the table;

Piano keys out of tune;

Body cramped too still;

Bands untouched in the drawer;

Pen rusted in its subcreation power.

In my non-forgetting—

A corn of wheat

falls not to the ground

falls not to the ground and

brings forth no fruit. 

Life of God in the soul

.

.

.

15 grams output in 51 seconds. 

Grant me fruitfulness in the land of my grief

Grant me peace with my past.

Grant me to sow corns of wheat

To go deeper into Your life in my soul,

A force of life.

To sow corns of wheat

(which is the way of Christ’s love)

That as Alyosha saw

I too might see

Kolya sing of eternal life.

Let my life go deep into Your life,

Like a parting of the red sea,

Like a stopping of the sun,

As one whose life testifies

more to Your life than my talk.