Can I Ask for an Answer, Even If Not a Reasoning?

It's perception,

Association,

Reinforcement.

There was a certain innocence between You and I.

Yes, I can still trust.

But there's always the battle of reservation,

A certain heaviness,

Confrontation of the heart.

How do I trust You like a child again?

I read of Your power with gravity, but not awe.

When You exchange Egypt for me,

I bring to You an objection,

Instead of feel Your love,

Though I believe it.

Who is the clay to question the potter—

I understand, but I blink back tears.

Not because I'm struck,

But because it's hard.

I want to feel Your beauty in all You are.

Are my dialogues what You will answer,

Or do You ask for faith?

There are mysteries—

Yet I wish for an answer,

Even if not a reasoning.

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2.22.26 - Answer to one of my questions

Isaiah 50: 1-2

I said, ‘Here I am, here I am!’

    to a nation that did not call on my name.

This is what the Lord says:

“Was your mother sent away because I divorced her?

    Did I sell you as slaves to my creditors?

No, you were sold because of your sins.

    And your mother, too, was taken because of your sins.

Why was no one there when I came?

    Why didn’t anyone answer when I called?

Is it because I have no power to rescue?

    No, that is not the reason!

For I can speak to the sea and make it dry up!

    I can turn rivers into deserts covered with dying fish.

65: 1

The Lord says,

“I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help.

    I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me.